A father and son story.

dansmudge

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My Dad and I are about to finish our second year fly fishing together.
Which in itself isn't particularly remarkable but there is a reason why this is worth mentioning.

Rewind 2 years and we were barely on speaking terms.
This is due to me having had a huge amount of built up resentment towards him for walking out on my Mum, Sister and I when I was about 10 years old.

This is where an amazing man called Martin comes in.
He is my ex girlfriend's father and on our visits to see her parents in Chester he started taking time out of his busy life to teach me fly fishing in Wales.

Not only did this introduce me to a past time which I am now completely obsessed with.
But it also made me realise how much I'd missed having a father figure, despite convincing myself over the years that I hadn't needed one.

In a bizarre twist of fate, around this time my Dad was bought a fly fishing lesson by a friend.
During one of our infrequent and slightly awkward phone calls, we discovered that we had both recently begun tentative steps in to fly fishing.

This lead us to arrange to meet up for a day at Bewl in January 2009.
At about 9am on that day we both shared the joy of catching my first ever trout on the fly.
I can still remember it clearly now, us both staring down at this 2lb rainbow with huge grins on our faces!
We shook hands in delight, not realising that this was a small step on the path to where we are now.
We have gone from 2 strangers who would meet for dinner and stilted conversation a few times a year, to being best friends who speak on the phone every couple of days and go fishing as often as we possibly can.

We've shared some wonderful experiences over the last 2 years and my only regret is that we didn't discover fly fishing earlier, as we have wasted so many years.

So I suppose the two lessons I have learnt are:-

Life is too short to bare grudges.

And fly fishing is about so much more than catching fish.

Not sure why I decided to share this story.
I suppose was just writing up the 2009 round up section of my fishing log book and realised what a journey we'd been on.

In case anyone is interested I've attached the round up of our 2009.
The 2010 round up will be coming soon too.
(does anyone else keep such detailed log books, or am I just a bit obsessed?!)

Tight lines.

Dan


FishingBookYearlyRoundUp_1.jpg

FishingBookYearlyRoundUp_2.jpg
 

royvs

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Well, I think that is a remarkable and quite delightful story, Dan, thank you for it.

I have a Pal whose Daughter cut him dead for years and they eventually got together again, through Golf. First time he told me about it, he couldn't hold back the tears.

I'm lucky and unlucky, in this respect. My Father did a runner when I was about three so I have no recollection of him. I do, still, have a fantastic relationship with my two Sons with whom I have done things all their lives...they are now 38 and 40 and I believe all three of us are still "Best Pals".

Well done you and I hope this doesn't sound patronising.
 

rrw35

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Great story Dan and proof that life is too short to bear grudges.
 

rs2ford

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Well done Dan for the season and glad you and your Dad are getting along just fine. You are only here once, make the most of it!

cheers Diarmid.
 

Mrtrout

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Best bit of reading on here for ages Dan, what a great and happy ending.
Well done and thanks.
S.
 

Jedi

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Thanks Dan

Dan

Thank you for sharing that uplifting story with us , life is indeed to short :)
 

philx123

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That's great to hear. I'm glad you've worked it out with your father. I remember catching my first trout with my father. It was about thirty five years ago, now, and though my father is no longer here, and though I didn't fish with him after I got into my later teens (something I really regret now) I still fish the same reservoir, and feel him close by there.

All the best.
 

guest21

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I really enjoyed reading that Dan, as the senior citizen above mentioned-best read for ages.

I think many people, myself included, have stood on both sides of that particular fence, brought back a few mems. Glad it's worked out for you Dan, tight lines to you both.

P.S. Outfishing your Dad could result in a dip, I look forward to this years results :joking:.

Chris
 

mac 10

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What a great story. Thanks for sharing this with us.

I'm a father to a wonderful son who I love more than anything in the world. He's only 5 but he's been fishing with me a few times already and I've already decided he's my future fishing partner! Doesn't matter what he decides to do really though as long as I can spend time with him.

I once read that the greatest thing a parent can give their child is their time. Think there is some truth in this.
 

1050trip

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A really great story mate, well done for setting differences aside.

I had an ok relationship with my dad but after getting into fly fishing from course fishing about 18 months ago, I got my dad back fly fishing again (after a 35 year gap) and I take him fishing about once a month; we get on better now than ever before and have great time whether we catch or not.

I learned in may the hard way that life is in a delicate balance when dad got very i'll; luckily he got fit and well again and there are fishing adventures to be had together. so, for that alone I consider myself a very lucky man:)
 

strikealight

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Has to be the best forum post I have read in a long time, IMHO.

I am in a similar position to philx123 - I fish for many reasons, but one is to remember my late father and the fishing trips we shared when I was very young. Seems fishing can bring you closer to people "on both sides", as it were.
 

dansmudge

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Thanks for all the great replies, nice to know my story touched a few souls!

I had a great day's fishing with my Dad on Monday (I caught a PB 7lb rainbow, plus a 4lb & 3.5lb!) and we got on to the subject of memorial benches that you see by lakes and in the countryside.

We both said what a nice idea they are and my Dad revealed that he'd already said to his wife that if ever he passed away he'd like a bench at Bewl, where he fishes and sails.
He's only 65 so hopefully this is a good few years away.
But just having that conversation really hit home that he won't be around forever and to treasure the time that we now have together.

Hopefully one day I'll have kids and can teach them the joys of fly fishing too.
 

hutch6

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My dad is my best mate, always has been and we have spent many days together doing things that bring you closer. We've had our disagreements over the years but they soon fade to make our bond stronger and provide a deeper understanding of each other.

Reading this helps to remind me of how lucky I have been in that he has always given me his time when I was growing up and now as he's getting on a bit the role is slowly starting to shift in me giving him my time which I have no problem doing whatsoever.

Really glad to hear you are developing your relationship together and have found common ground to enjoy together.
 

dansmudge

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Dan, also that is a cracking fishing record/ log book. Well done. And thanks for sharing such an uplifting story.

Cheers mate.
I'm a graphic designer by trade and I'd originally just written it up in my book but I had a quiet day at work and decided to jazz it up a bit!

I'll post the 2010 one up in January, I think it makes quite interesting reading.
You can see a real progression in our fishing, particularly in the honing down of the flies we've been using.
 

smac

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Wrexham, north wales
father and son

hi dan , thanks for sharing that with us . its always nice to here a nice ending , life is to short to bear grudges i lost my sister just over 4 years now and my younger brother quite recently and it makes you really think about living for today well done and tight lines to you both
steve
 

The Famous Grouse

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Dan, I think that's a terrific story and I'm happy for you and your father. In all seriousness, there are few things sadder than family members who are estranged. It really is uplifting to read that fly fishing brought you and your father back together.

The thing is that we've got so damn little time here and even then we generally see what we want to see--namely ourselves and everyone else living to a ripe old age. It's too damn easy for everyone to assume there will be plenty of time to bury the hatchet later and most know how that goes.

I will forever picture my dad as I saw him so often as a kid: At the back of that little aluminum boat with his hand on the outboard tiller, facing into the wind and taking me home after another day spent fishing together. I can see this picture in my mind's eye as clearly as any paper photo I actually have of him. It says more than fishing, it will always say to me everything about who he is.

Grouse
 

dansmudge

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I will forever picture my dad as I saw him so often as a kid: At the back of that little aluminum boat with his hand on the outboard tiller, facing into the wind and taking me home after another day spent fishing together. I can see this picture in my mind's eye as clearly as any paper photo I actually have of him. It says more than fishing, it will always say to me everything about who he is.

Grouse

This little bit made me chuckle Grouse, as it reminded me of a couple of photos I took at the end of a very cold day on Tal y Lynn last year.
Boy, did we experience some weather on that trip!...

DadMe_sml.jpg

Skipper_sml.jpg
 
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