That's a pretty decent first attempt and the biggest success after the tying is that you have noted the area for improvement which is the first step to getting the next one closer to your expectation and much is about materials. So all in all a great start especially as I note that you have taken time to match up the bands on the tippet with the butt and jungle cock which shows a nice eye for detail.
To cure the wing twist I was taught the following which goes like this...
1. Prepare the wing
2. DO NOT use waxed thread at this point - the last thing you want is it gripping the wing and twisting it as you tighten up!
3. Position your wing and grip it tightly enough that your fingers and thumb hurt from the amount of pressure, then apply a bit more pressure to ensure the wing can't slip!
4. Create a little 'valley' where you want the thread to sit by pushing down with a finger nail and encouraging the butts to stay in place with the fingers of your other hand
5. Place one turn of thread over the wing in the little valley you just made in front of your fingers (ie not in between as you would when using a pinch and loop technique). Do not tighten that thread loop - just let the weight of the bobbin hold it in place
6. Continue to use your finger nail and fingers of your other hand to encourage the fibres to compress and sit as you want under the thread and weigh of the bobbin
7. Only when happy, tighten the thread by hand and add a couple more turns tight turns to secure it.
8. Remove the now sore fingers that are still gripping the wing tightly and survey your work. Realise your still not happy and repeat the process above. After the 5th attempt swear when the wing now falls appart and you have to prepare another wing. Repeat the process yet again and finally be amazed when it looks a million times better than any you've done before!
9. Now apply some wax and build your head unless you have more winging to add!
10. Finally, only after everything is in place and your head is built, wax gone hard again do you then trim the butts with your sharpest ever scissors. Not in one big snip but by slowly and neatly trimming a few butts at a time. Tidy up the front of the head with heavily waxed figure of eight wraps of thread and varnish.
Slightly tongue in cheek on a few bits (you'll spot those I'm sure!) but I hope that makes sense.
Other tips I was given that made a massive difference to the look:
Uneven floss tag: split the floss so that you use just half of the fibres - it will tie in a lot more smoothly. Start from the front, one layer back, and then one forward keeping the floss from twisting as you go
Butt: make sure you double the fibres and use the shortest densest herl you can - its a little thin
Timing: do not do a fly in one sitting. Decide to perhaps tie in the tag and tail and then walk away, have a cup of coffee or even come back the following day because the concentration on every detail quickly means you lose focus. then do the body in the next session, finally the wing and perhaps even finally the head which can take a day or two to build a well shaped, smooth and glossy look as you wait for each layer of varnish to dry properly.
Matching rib to hackle: blind wrap the rib up the body and mark out where the rib will meet the hackle. Then unwind the rib and start to build the body and tie in the hackle where you've marked. That way you'll ensure the two come together perfectly every time even though are wrapped a few stages apart.