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Your employment ... can you relate?

1.6K views 16 replies 11 participants last post by  ACW  
You Work in Corporate America If...

- You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.

- Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.

- Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.

- Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um.

- You order your business cards in "half orders" instead of whole boxes.

- When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.

- You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.

- You learn about your layoff on CNN.

- Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.

- You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.

- Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.

- You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.

- It's dark when you drive to and from work.

- Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.

- Communication is something your group is having problems with.

- You see a good looking person and know they're a visitor.

- Free food left over from meetings is your main staple of your diet.

- Weekends are those days your significant other makes you stay home.

- Art involves a white board.

- You're already late on the assignment you just got.
My happiest day was when I learned that Corporate in Chicago had spare cash in the " Moose Fund" and we're going to offer it to Europe Middle East and Africa to facilitate restructure ... I told my VP, I'll make it easy for you, you want a head on the wall I'm your boy :D. So out at 60 . :wine: last 10 months spent doing whatever I want. I don't miss corporate bolleaux at all.

The best bit ? No more death by PowerPoint.